Hypersexuality may or may not look the way you imagine. TV shows and movies also misrepresent what it means to have hypersexual tendencies. If you ask Hollywood, people with uncontrollable sexual impulses are scary, dangerous, and creepy AF. But that’s not always the case.
What’s the Deal with Hypersexual People?
Overly sexualized behaviors have become the norm in our society. No matter the age or background of a person, it’s likely that they’ve encountered erotica on some level. So, what makes some people such freaks between the sheets while others handle horniness so well? As it turns out, we really don’t know.
Scientists are still trying to determine the primary causes of hypersexuality. Although, much of their research is clouded by dishonesty and social stigma. It seems like few people are willing to admit how much they fantasize about sex. And those who aren’t too embarrassed often refrain from giving too many details.
We might never know the depth of mankind’s depravity. But Hollywood and mainstream media would have everyone believing otherwise. According to most popular sources, hypersexual individuals crave orgasm more than the average bear. Meanwhile, science says sex and masturbation are good for your health. So, which one is true? And what does hypersexuality look like in real life?
The Real Face of Hypersexuality
An obsession with sex doesn’t always appear as perversion. In fact, many people choose to keep their compulsions a secret. And since some folks do that, it’s not uncommon for hypersexual behavior to come as a surprise.
Meanwhile, individuals who struggle to control sexual urges may experience challenges in different parts of their lives. Usually, hypersexuality manifests through fantasies, pursuits, interests, masturbation, or frequent intercourse. So, here’s what that typically involves:
#1. Fantasies
You might think about having sex or fooling around more often than other people do. And those thoughts could prevent you from concentrating on more important things. Meanwhile, the littlest details might send you fantasizing about perverted possibilities. Plus, you could lose focus easily if the topic of sex is brought up in conversation.
#2. Pursuits
The pursuit of happiness is one thing. But pursuing interests and activities that put you at extreme risk is another. If your pursuits consistently involve trying to get laid, then you may have a problem. Remember, there’s more to life than feeling an orgasm. So, your goals should be balanced between experiencing bliss and learning crucial life lessons.
#3. Interests
Are most, if not all, of your interests regarding orgasm, foreplay, dating, and sex? If so, you could be a nymphomaniac. A healthy person has several interests that pique their curiosity and motivate them for success. But if you can’t muster motivation without needing a sexual incentive, seek professional help. Not only is that counterproductive but it might also make you look like a creep.
#4. Masturbation
How often do you play with yourself for pleasure? According to doctors, you shouldn’t jerk off more than once or twice per week at max. That means daily masturbation sessions aren’t ideal, especially when you feel incomplete without them. So, keep in mind that pleasuring yourself is perfectly normal and healthy. But doing it too much can have damaging consequences.
#5. Intercourse
Some people are lucky enough to have sex every day. And a few unicorns might even get laid morning, noon, and night. However, the ones who need intercourse to feel normal aren’t benefitting much. You may sense uneasiness. Or you might have trouble interacting with others when sex is off the table. If that sounds like your life, learn some new ways to cope with urges.
Hypersexuality can manifest in many other ways as well. That means you don’t always behave like a pervert just because you are. So, watch for the signs, including these:
- You have recurrent wet dreams or intense nightmares, especially before or after sex and masturbation.
- Much of your time is spent trying to satisfy compulsions that feel out of your control.
- You’re driven to perform specific sex acts in pursuit of pleasure, pain, or both.
- You feel a release of tension after you get done jerking off or having sex.
- Guilt, shame, and remorse typically follow your erotic sessions.
- It feels extremely difficult or even impossible to control your sexual impulses, urges, and behaviors.
- You have a hard time reducing how often you think about sex or masturbation.
- Your compulsive behaviors have lead to other problems, including perpetual singleness, depression, social anxiety, and stress.
- You continue to engage in risky sexual behaviors despite being well aware of the consequence and potential for danger.
- You’ve been diagnosed, sometimes more than once, with a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
- It’s hard for you to establish and maintain healthy or stable relationships with other people.
- You frequently have trouble concentrating on your tasks at work and in your personal life.
- Sexual fantasies and pursuits have put you in financial turmoil.
- You’re facing legal problems as a result of your inappropriate sexual behavior.
Hypersexuality can be challenging to address because its causes are unknown. Plus, each person manages their sexual urges and tendencies in a unique way. So, it’s important to understand the risk factors, triggers, and symptoms even if you’re not the one experiencing them. After all, hypersexual behavior is one of the leading causes of breakup worldwide.
How to Handle Hypersexual Behavior
Handling an overly sexual mind and body doesn’t have to be difficult, expensive, or time-consuming. It does, however, take work. Don’t expect to transform your love life overnight. But follow these three easy steps to gain more control over your libido eventually:
Step 1: Observe Your Behaviors and Emotions
Pay attention to how you act when sex is mentioned or offered. And don’t forget to note how you feel if your cravings aren’t fulfilled. Then write down your observations for later. Afterward, compare those observations with how you’d like to act or be perceived by others.
TIP: If you have a partner or close friend, ask them to candidly describe your behavior for consideration.
Step 2: Create Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Determine when you need distractions the most and try to develop habits that help you stay on track. Constructive, hands-on hobbies are probably your best bet. But you can also ask friends and family to give you tasks or start doing helpful favors for others instead.
TIP: Use high-quality sex toys to satisfy some of your sexual cravings without hurting yourself or others.
Step 3: Seek Professional Help If Needed
Mental healthy experts can help you figure out why you do the things you do. So, think about the pros and cons of sex addiction therapy. And always bring honesty to the table if you decide to get help because otherwise it will be a waste of time.
TIP: Sign up for counseling with a licensed therapist to determine the root of your problem and fix it.
Enjoy a Healthier Sex Life
Regardless of why you identify as a sex addict, one thing is clear: It can’t stay this way forever. Hypersexuality puts you at risk of many dangers, including some that are irreversible. So, enjoy a healthier love life when you cope with hypersexual behavior the right way.
